Should you give him the wine?

[rockhopper]

Your son comes home for dinner. You and your wife are having an glass of wine. He is 20 and wants to have a 1/2 glass with you. Since you are at home, do you give it to him?

[DarkSkies]

Being a recovering alcoholic, I might have a different perspective on this than others. When I was younger, a lot of the social functions had people in the family drinking. They all had to be 18, or 21, when the law changed, to drink, but alcohol was always around.

However, we kids weren't allowed, but we snuck it anyway. I feel if you make the concept of drinking forbidden, kids will find a way to do it if they really want. If you go to Germany and Europe, kids drink openly with their parents.

It's the same with drugs, for me. A lot of people have asked me to preach the evils of drugs to their children. I don't approach it that way. If you tell kids drugs are evil and are toxic, what happens if they try them and decide they are fun? Then you have a situation where they feel you lied to them, bad for credibility.

So I tell people that drinking and drugs are fun, or the feeling they give you is fun. The evil part is when you decide to forsake other things in your life for that fun, and put your goals, hopes and dreams on hold for the pursuit of that fun. That's what ruins lives, when people use anything regularly as part of a habit.

For some people, like me, it's easy to develoip a habit when something feels good. That can be true for fishing as well.

That being said, if I was raising children and knew of a history of alcoholism or addiction in the family, I wouldn't let them drink before they turned 21. I would give them a full education about alcohol or drugs, but no way would I condone it. I would explain that because of the family history, they were more likely to develop problems, in a similar way that people with a family history of diabetes should monitor their sugar intake.

I would make sure they were exposed to the bad side of alcohol and drugs by bringing them to places where people had no homes or future because of their abuse.

Once they're 21, they can make their own choices, but I would not be part of a family unit that tells them it's ok to drink. Again, that's just because of who I am and the path I took in life. Others may feel differently.

[dogfish]

He's 20, give him wine or beer until he pukes, let him know what a hangover is like. Good medicine.

[stripermania]

I would not allow my kid to drink at home with us before 21. That being said, Dark's suggestion of bring the kid to a place to let them see the result of alcoholism would be good. However, most teenagers especially 20 year olds would never even get in the car. Once they have their license it is "So long mom and dad I'm going out."

[cowherder]

However, most teenagers especially 20 year olds would never even get in the car. Once they have their license it is "So long mom and dad I'm going out."

Well if Mom and Dad are paying the insurance they have to listen. Otherwise they can work 2 jobs to pay the ins payments.

[The Worm Ouroboros]

I would probably give it to him.

[bababooey]

I would probably give it to him.

I don't think one glass of wine ever killed anyone, let him have it.

[c4charlie]

Yes, One glass will not do anything negative especially with food.