Redneck Pole Dancing
^ Bet that girl could crush your head between her legs like a coconut. Husband or boyfriend that put that up for her is a lucky guy.
public toilet no waiting
Great tune, pics are a little fuzzy.
Someone sent me this
A Florida redneck was stopped by a game warden because he had two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a bayou, well-known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'
'Naw, sir', replied the man. 'I ain't got none of dem there licenses. You gotta unnerstan', dese here are my pet fish.'
'Pet fish?'
'Yeah. Evry night, I take dese here fish down to de lake and let 'em swim 'round for 'while. Den, when I whistle, dey jump right back into dis here ice chests and I take 'em home.'
'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's de truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'
'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'
The man poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'
'Well, what?', says the redneck.
The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'
'Call who back?'
'The FISH', replied the warden!
'What fish?', replied the redneck.
Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.
Sent in by OGB, thanks!
The new 2009 redneck award winners.
Redneck Harley
Redneck Bass Boat
Redneck Grill
Follow the link for more
Redneck Horseshoes
Redneck Lawn mower
Redneck Weather Station
Redneck Pet Carrier
Redneck Gingerbread House
Redneck Palm Pilot
Redneck Powerball Winner
The above Powerball Winner on Vacation
You Might be a redneck if…
A little rain doesn’t spoil the fishing…
You need fashion tips from your husband
You wear a shirt like this for your engagement picture…
And your wedding cake looked like this…
Your doghouse looks like this…
Your pickup looks like this…
You have a deer’s butt for a door bell…
You don’t need a lake to do a little skiing…
Or if your wife is quoted in the local paper saying…
Very Funny, I enjoyed them all.
Sent in by Finchaser, thanks!
Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas'er family thatlived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days..
About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down!
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom
I really hate to say it, but ... Most of those pictures and jokes were the norm when we movedto Delaware 27+ years ago. To keep from being shot by anyone here things have changed quite a bit since then. For the better !!!
Sent in by OGB, thanks!
A day in the life of a Hillbilly Wedding.
It all started out with me pickin up my blushin' bride in ma daddy's limo down to the 7 Eleven when she got off work.
My pappy ran down to the Burger King to pick up some reception viddles.
I took my blushin' bride to a place where she could get dressed up and all.
My bride was having problems with a worked up stomach, if you know what I mean, so we had the preacher meet us at the outhouse for the ceremony.
Afterward, Pappy took a picture of my bride by her new tractor.
It was a weddin' gift from our uncle
Now that the ceremony was done, it was time to celebrate.
Granny had the cooler all stocked up..
Bubba dragged out the grill.
Meanwhile everyone enjoyed some yard games.
We had lots a fun after the weddin at the big shindig...
Fat Hattie tosses her hoss shoe pretty good.
Cleetus wins at hoss shoes.
Bobbin fer pigsfeet
He gots himself a pigs foot!
Clem lightin up the Barbeque
Cusin Weeble and Lowside showin off their LTD restoration
Billywayne brung his new huntin rifle ta try out.
Ol lady winnin the Budweiser pull!
Some Ol ladys rasslin in the pond
Mama Hortense restin after rasslin in the pond.
Cousin Lemule is an ace at hoss shoes.
Gennielee showin off her new boob job.
Some of the fellas went water skiin'.
The Hatfield girls brought their guns, jest in case.
When all the fun was over, I took my bride to our honeymoon suite
After the honeymoon we moved.......
To our beautiful waterfront condo.
Married life is good!__________________