Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Even if you understand and follow all of the rules for more effectively engaging manipulators, life with them is not likely to be easy.
--George K. Simon Jr.

Sometimes they want something. Sometimes they want someone to give them something or to feel a particular way. They want power in some way, shape, or form. Manipulators prey on our weak spots.

Obsession and guilt are weapons. Manipulators get us to use these weapons on ourselves.

Sometimes we can disengage from manipulators - walk away, set a clear limit, be done with them. Other times, it's not that easy. We may be at least temporarily stuck with a boss or authority figure that indulges in heavy manipulation. One of our children may be going through a relentlessly manipulative period. We may have a parent whom we care about deeply who has adapted manipulation as a way of life.

(That statement reminds me of the character Marie, the Mom, on Everyone Loves Raymond. Anyone know a person like her? )




Learn how to effectively deal with manipulators. Not everyone means what they say. . . Learn to recognize when others are telling you what they believe you want to hear. Learn to not react, stay clear, practice nonresistance, and stay true to yourself.

Be gentle with yourself if you have a manipulator in your life. You're not responsible for the other person's attempts at manipulation. You're responsible for staying clear.

God, help me let go the weak spots in myself that allow me to fall prey to manipulations. Help me stay clear of guilt and obsession so I can decide what's best for me.





I know manipulators all too well because I have them in my family. If you're trying to identify and steer clear of people like this, they're usually the kinds of people who blame everyone else for what's happening to them in life. They don't like to take responsibility, and seem to have an excuse for everything. Yet the guilt and twisting of the truth are everyday behaviors for these people. Some of them have been lying for so long, they think no one notices.

The thing is, once you learn to recognize the behavior you start to see these people as transparent as they really are. There is no real substance to them, it's all part of the game they play. , But we do, and gradually learn to exclude these people from our daily lives, whether they are family OR friends.

Learn to recognize the signs, and gradually weed people like this out of your life when possible. You will be much healthier for it.