Well I have to be straight with ya because you are a friend 50 degree water and kayaks don't mix conquering your fears is one thing dying for them well I don't think so especially since NO FISH IS WORTH YOUR LIFE !!!! I'm just telling you from personal experience it only takes a second to change your whole life around no matter how long you have been at it 21 yrs. around a crane and you know the rest.You have been through alot already and overcame it and honestly drowning is a miserable way to go. C.O.B.