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Thread: One for St. Patrick's Day

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Default One for St. Patrick's Day

    An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Cork, walks into the pub, and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.

    An hour later the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

    Finally, a week later the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers."

    "Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two brothers and one went to America and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."

    The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

    Then one day the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening. He orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

    The next day the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know - the two beers and all...."

    The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    I missed this when ya posted it man. The drinking jokes are always funny. Hope you and your family had a good St Patty's day. It's nice to be able to remember these occasions now instead of having people fill you in on what you did the night before.

  3. #3
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    spending st. Patrick's Day listening to the DMs and some other Irish Tunes. Rounding it out with a bottle of single malt. How about you guys?

  4. #4
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    Mick and Paddy were walking in Covent Garden in London. It was their first week in the capital and they were a bit na?ve.

    'Lord above Paddy, this is a great city,' says Mick.
    'Why's that Mick?' responds Paddy.

    'Well, to be sure,' explains Mick, 'where else in the world would a complete stranger come up to you, make idle chat, invite you to dinnr and then offer you to spend the night at their house?'

    'Begorrah, ' splutters Paddy, 'did that happen to you?'
    'No,' says Mick, 'but it happens to my beautiful sister all the time.'

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    New Jersey
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    Love the Dropkick Murphys. One of my favorite drinking bands.
    Irish joke-
    Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they're always a little short.

  6. #6
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    choose your weapon..

    Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he?d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he?s walking with a limp.

    *?What happened to you?? asks Sean, the bartender.
    ?Jamie O?Conner and me had a fight,? says Paddy.
    ?That little ****, O?Conner,? says Sean, ?He couldn?t do that to you,
    he must have had something in his hand.?
    ?That he did,? says Paddy, ?a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin? he gave me with it.?
    ?Well,? says Sean, ?you should have defended yourself, didn?t you have something in your hand??
    ?That I did,? said Paddy. ?Mrs. O?Conner?s breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.?

  7. #7
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    Mar 2008
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    Slainte to all the stripers and anglers folks and their families. Happy st. Paddy's Day

  8. #8
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    May 2008
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    Hope you all had a good one. I can add a joke to the mix.

    Sean goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

    The Priest says, "Is that you, Sean?"

    "Yes, Father, it is I."

    "Who was the woman you were with?"

    "I cannot tell you, for I do not wish to sully her reputation."

    The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

    "No, Father."

    "Was it Fiona MacDonald?"

    "No, Father."

    "Was it Ann Brown?"

    "No, Father, I cannot tell you."

    The priest says, "I admire your perseverance but you must atone for your sins.*
    Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Mary's."

    Sean goes back to his pew and his buddy Mike slides over and asks, "What happened?"
    Sean replies, "I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Mary's and three good leads."

  9. #9
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    Yes Sir
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails !cid_006f01c9ae0d$5d6fb6a0$80CBB225@FamilyComputer.jpg  

    Pay attention to what history has taught us or be prepared to relive it again

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    A cold beer can def make life better.

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