Quote Originally Posted by bababooey View Post
I think that every day we are alive we can't discount the possibility that we could be run over by a mack truck. We could have a nagging cough go to the Dr and find out it is cancer. Living each day t the fullest is something I try. Thoughts go out to you guys who have had sick family members. I went through it with my grandpa. It hurts us all. As monty said it gets better with time. Great thread.

Well put bababooey. These weeks seeing death so prevalent in those rooms, and the grieving families that had to go through it, has caused a shift in some of my thinking. Life can change for us in a single moment. If we are not living the lives we want to live, we may want to ask ourselves "Why not?".....if someone told you tomorrow you only had 3 months to live, is there anything we would do differently?


Quote Originally Posted by Monty View Post
Time heals.
From my experiences, the sense of loss never leaves, but the good memories and experiences eventually balance out the sense of loss to some extent.
That's exactly what they told us, and what the priest said in the sermon. I'll come back to this when I get a chance, but good point, Monty...very meaningful words...
For some, mentioning the deceased and the memories is too painful....I get that....but for me....I like to go over stories, funny, embarrasing, or in some way amusing, that helps us to remember the person who left us......I like to do this around holidays and their birthday....some words of comfort to help us remember them....in that way....in my eyes, even though they are gone....their memories still live on......

Quote Originally Posted by surfwalker View Post
Tough, tough subject, but it's there. Seems like you worry about illness/death, for yourself and those close to you 50 per cent of the time and the other 50 per cent you actually live it. Nothings easy. To make decisions on some one else life is very tough. To take some one off a machine, to see that last breath or tear flow from their face, just tough. I experienced it with my FIL. But, like Monty stated- the memories and experiences keep that individual alive within us. 'ats why I always say that my walks are done alone, but I'm never lonely.

My parents are still doing pretty good- Dad (89), Mom(87). Mom was in the hospital for awhile this year and Dad broke both his hips at different times, also this year. They can't do much around the house anymore (they still yell at me, though). I help them in any way I can. Doctor appointments, shopping, around the house stuff, whatever they need. That's how I cope with it. They were there for me and I kinda drove them crazy. I stop to see them every night, make sure all is OK. Maybe I'm selfish because it makes me feel better.

Like I said, nothings easy, you just do things, one at a time, You just accept it. I just hope that I'm around to help them until they don't need it. Life/Feelings- same thing.
We drove my Mom crazy as well Surfwalker....the times we took advantage of her good nature were countless....we were bad....when we were young....and in the subsequent years of my sobriety I have tried to do everything I could to make up for it.....duty and honor are now important parts of my life that didn't seem to matter as much when I was younger.....

I think we all come to these realizations at different points in our lives...one thing I find lacking in (some of) the younger generation is the impatience for dealing with the healthcare of elderly parents.....it's tough to transition yourself to help a loved one with personal needs and some embarassing tasks that once were done by themselves.....but I feel as sons or daughters, it is our duty, and obligation, just as they cleaned our diapers, and stayed up with us all night when we had 102 degree fevers.......
I have extensive experience over the years with aging folks, seniors, and have seen a lot of them warehoused in institutions with minimal visits from family...this saddens me......I realize that we all have different circumstances in life, and some are not able physically to take care of elderly parents.....and some do, until it becomes too difficult, and then make the transition to Sr Housing......

So it's all about the individual, and their situation.......
However, I salute those, like surfwalker, surfstix and others, who still feel a sense of obligation to be the primary caregivers for aging parents....it's one of the toughest things we have to deal with in our adult lives.....