Life, Death.... and Your Thoughts on Everything in Between.....

[DarkSkies]

then things became very obvious something was wrong this could have been a simple fix of a Dr. visit and antibiotics and turned into a near death experience.

We all have our lives and things to do don't give up on them you will be sorry.
We have discussed things about death. she made it very clear if a machine is keeping her alive to unplug it (I have the same views I'm not making Drs rich IMO I'm no longer living)

I'm her health care proxy so I have to make that call and although it will be tough I will respect her wishes. Fortunately they have finally gotten the infection under control after a week of some serious antibiotics. One thing I have found is family can put some major glitches in decision making. some don't want to be bothered (sad)

if they are human they will realize that it is too damn late you can't bring them back, these people are parents, grand parents & they loved raised and cared for you in your life. It sickens me the way some family members react trust me I have a huge hole in my moms wall that my siblings drove me to put my fists through but that can be fixed losing my mom cannot.

Fishing is the only thing that takes me away from my problems for awhile. so I could care less about catching - that beach or rockpile is my therapy.

All the things I highlighted I have seen or been through as well, Rich. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I know your situation has been particularly challenging......and it has had a lot of ups and downs....

2 things you mentioned should be discussed here further.....health care proxy and DNR....these are the key tools that we have in modern times to make sure the wishes of our loved ones will be followed......

1. Health Care Proxy

2. Living Will / DNR Options





I'll try to come back when I have some more time and go into them, for the benefit of those who are just learning about this process.....
If anyone else wants to help us understand their experiences in the meantime, feel free to go into detail about these or any other topics....


Thanks for all the opinions people. I know some of ya's were sharing some extremely personal stuff...but if it can help others, your words can have a great impact.......and may give some of us who are struggling with these issues some comfort.....

[DarkSkies]

All the things I highlighted I have seen or been through as well, Rich. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I know your situation has been particularly challenging......and it has had a lot of ups and downs....

2 things you mentioned should be discussed here further.....health care proxy and DNR....these are the key tools that we have in modern times to make sure the wishes of our loved ones will be followed......

1. Health Care Proxy

2. Living Will / DNR Options





I'll try to come back when I have some more time and go into them, for the benefit of those who are just learning about this process.....

1. Health Care Representative/Proxy - this is a good site that explains it in detail for NJ residents. Other states may have different language and requirements. Make sure you check the state you or loved one lives in for the correct one. Everyone who has parents or family getting older owes it to themselves to check this out. As surfstix said, it's a position of grave responsibility when someone chooses you as their health care rep/proxy.

http://www.state.nj.us/health/health...directives.pdf

"Understandably, the subjects of death, dying and our own incapacity are difficult to discuss with

others. Nonetheless, we at the Commission feel strongly that it is especially important to discuss yourfeelings and beliefs about these subjects with those who may become responsible for making decisions for you, such as family members, friends and your physician. Advance directives provide an important writtenstatement of your wishes to others, but direct communication is the key to insuring that those wishes are clearly understood by others. Candid conversation can significantly reduce the chances of disagreements among those who care for you, may relieve your loved ones of some of the heavy burdens of decision making, and lend additional assurance that your wishes will be respected."








PROXY DIRECTIVE--(Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care)

Designation of Health Care Representative

**(there are 3 different forms mentioned, beginning with the one mentioned above. This info can be found about halfway through the PDF. Although it seems lengthy, remember that these are decisions that pertain to the end of your life, and a time when you will be unable to make these desisions for yourself. As such, clarity of your intentions is extremely important. You don't want the person who you put in charge of your life and death, to have any doubts.)