Life, Death.... and Your Thoughts on Everything in Between.....

[surfstix1963]

One thing I can say about DNR & Health care proxy is seriously sit down with the family,have a talk, and try to get to a logical agreement HCP is one thing DNR is playing the grim reaper with a loved ones life,

I suggest the person that has to play that role be very strong because that decision will weigh heavily on them for life.I know it will be the toughest challenge in my life.I have made it very clear to my family I will do my best but once the machines are mentioned I will pull the trigger.There are also many variables(flaws) these days in the medical system that could run up some hefty bills to keep the machine going.

One other thing I want to touch base on if your parents are elderly, is to get in touch with a lawyer and see what you need to do in order to try and keep the Gov't from taking everything they have worked for in exchange for medical bills,I believe they look back 5 years they have talked about 7 yrs.IDK if that was passed.If you are elderly I don't want to sound out of place but you should sit down with your family and discuss these issues also have an updated Will.

I have also seen certain family members that want it all (they are usually the ones that do the least) & this causes families to break up hate each other, when you should be there for each other. Having some extra cash is always good but getting it at the cost of someones life is downright disgusting to me (Gold Diggers) the money won't last very long and you will be right back at square one minus a loved one.

Family is very important to myself and my wife I have already lost my Dad,Grandfather,Grandmother,Neice and brother I've experienced death from 12 y/o when my dad died. So keep those memories because that is the only thing you will be left with that no one can take away.

[bababooey]

Good points surfstix. You should be able to leave this world any way you want. Its important for your family to follow your wishes. Here is a guy who left exactly as he wanted to.

[surfstix1963]

We all should be able to go the way we want to, it is our life and death we are just asking the family to complete the final trip our way.I have already made my choices I want to be cremated and my ashes spread along my favorite stretch of beach my wife and children will be throwing my last cast I don't want to be buried and have this elaborate funeral that costs a ton of money,I would rather have that money spent on the living.

[DarkSkies]

2. Living Will



Some good info on this:
http://www.healthynj.org/wellness/ad...directive.html

When you start to look at it, you begin to see that the Advanced directive and Living will can be thought of as interchangable terms. The Advanced Directive I posted in the previous post is IMO one of the strongest and comprehensive legal documents you can sign to make sure your wishes are carried out.

**As mentioned, the authors of the previous PDF stressed that communication among family members is key.





**I have been involved in several of these situations so far, and can tell those who haven't, that even though the communication is clear, there is usually doubt and questioning "Am I doing the right thing here?" as you make the decision to end someone's life, or take them off a breathing tube, etc...........

Do yourself and your loved ones a favor.....get this done before it's too late....help to take this burden off their shoulders, and make sure your wishes are known clearly.....it is one of the last gifts of reassurance you can give to someone, before you leave this world.

If anyone out there has had to deal with these circumstances or has anything else to add, I think it could benefit a lot of folks if you were to share it with us...thanks.

[storminsteve]

Thanks for posting the info ds. Will be passing it on to one of my uncles who is faced with something like this.

[DarkSkies]

I have already made my choices I want to be cremated and my ashes spread along my favorite stretch of beach my wife and children will be throwing my last cast I don't want to be buried and have this elaborate funeral that costs a ton of money,I would rather have that money spent on the living.

I agree, this is what I am doing as well.
"Dead is Dead"....is something Pebbles' father used to say......I believe when we die, our soul departs from us....hopefully going to Heaven, or another plane of existence, if that's what you believe.....what's left....our lifeless body....seems to have the most significance to the relatives and loved ones we leave behind....but if you really think about it...is just a pile of flesh and bones that will eventually turn to dust.........







Thought for today....
"Squeezing all the juice out of life, that it has to offer"


I mentioned this to someone the other day, because lately I have a different perspective on life....knowing that it can be snatched from us, on the turn of a dime.....I think of all the years I have been out there fishing at night....sometimes in hazardous conditions...how many times I fell and smashed the back of my head on some rocks, or fell down an embankment somewhere, fishing colder waters than I should, on a kayak....and all the close calls I have had.......

Any one of those, could have been the end of my life, or the wrong turn that I did not recover from....yet I'm still here.....
So why just live life....if not to to the fullest?

I think part of that, for many of us, is we have responsibilities, committments, to others....we sometimes get stuck in a rut....we have a job that pays the bills, and we sometimes settle for something that works....we can't always chase our dreams, every day......when we have family and life committments......this is true.......survival and bills should be a big part of life's responsibilites......

But how big a part?

What I'm suggesting here....particularly for those of us who get caught in that Mid-Winter depression, like I sometimes do....is to use that time to look at our lives.....and ask yourselves, if there are any small changes you can make that may help you on a path...to achieve at least some of your dreams?.....one day at a time.......

[Monty]

Any one of those, could have been the end of my life, or the wrong turn that I did not recover from....yet I'm still here.....
So why just live life....if not to to the fullest?

I think part of that, for many of us, is we have responsibilities, committments, to others....we sometimes get stuck in a rut....we have a job that pays the bills, and we sometimes settle for something that works....we can't always chase our dreams, every day......when we have family and life committments......this is true.......survival and bills should be a big part of life's responsibilites......

But how big a part?

I think balance is essential

1. family
2. self
3. work

Be careful with work, it supports family.
And be careful with self, because we need to be in a "good frame of mind" for family and work.

Its not easy, no one is perfect, likely not even close to perfect.
Give each day a 100%.
And when doing things for your self, enjoy it. And if going out on rocks is your thing, you would be nuts not doing it, just be smart.

[DarkSkies]

I think balance is essential

Its not easy, no one is perfect, likely not even close to perfect.
Give each day a 100%.
And when doing things for your self, enjoy it.

Good advice, Monty.

Pebbles and I visited the cemetery last week. That day would have been her Dad's 80th birthday. It was sad, but I'm glad we went.
I was struck by the number of young people who were buried there....some in their teens, and others in their mid-20's. We were walkinig among the graves trying to find another relative who was buried there, and the young people, the laments of family, and the glowing tributes on the headstones, were things I couldn't help noticing........

Took some pics...will try to post some of the most compelling ones (without identifying info) when I get a chance.....it really hit home, how much death can affect us and the ones we leave behind.......

A phrase..."Life is for the living" comes to mind....and another reminder that it's never too late, to try to live the live you want to live......
...or to tell someone who is still living, how much they mean to you...and try to bring a smile to their day....

[DarkSkies]

Took some pics...will try to post some of the most compelling ones (without identifying info) when I get a chance.....it really hit home, how much death can affect us and the ones we leave behind.......

A phrase..."Life is for the living" comes to mind....and another reminder that it's never too late, to try to live the live you want to live......
...or to tell someone who is still living, how much they mean to you...and try to bring a smile to their day....

I'm a little behind, trying to process those pics, hopefully I can get one or 2 up in the next few days.
Remember praying for the sick is an honorable thing...visiting them before they are sick, or dying, is even more rewarding...

[stripercrazy]

We were walkinig among the graves trying to find another relative who was buried there, and the young people, the laments of family, and the glowing tributes on the headstones, were things I couldn't help noticing........

I read what you said here and it reminded me of the way we think about death. Someone e-mailed me this when my uncle died, RIP Uncle Al.

No farewell words were spoken, no time to say good-bye. You were gone before I knew it and only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow, what it meant to lose you, no one will ever know.

I thought that I would miss you so, and never find my way.
And then I heard the angel say "he's with you every day."
"The sun, the moon, the wind, the stars, will forever be around,
reminding you of the love you shared, and the peace he's finally found."

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow, I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain, I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush, I am in the graceful rush.
Of beautiful birds in circling flight, I am a star shining in the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom, I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing, I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there. I did not die !
( By Mary Frye )

[DarkSkies]

^ Nice poem stripercrazy, thanks for sharing that.

Took some pics...will try to post some of the most compelling ones (without identifying info) when I get a chance.....it really hit home, how much death can affect us and the ones we leave behind.......
A phrase..."Life is for the living" comes to mind....and another reminder that it's never too late, to try to live the live you want to live......
...or to tell someone who is still living, how much they mean to you...and try to bring a smile to their day....

Some of the pics........





Ebbtide......