Wow Jake,that was a great read, thank you for sharing.
I agree with Porgy, you got some Balls of Steel.
How do you not get hurt bouncing on the rocks?
So you had a fish get almost tangled with your legs, sounds like you swam in the wrong direction the first time (or were way out past were you thought you were), landed on rocks (2x) and almost got stuck being out there in a thunder and lightning storm. And you did this all out there by your self.